Monday, April 27, 2009

Swine Flu!!

Cool! I get to witness the next great influenza pandemic!! The U.S. is completely safe though, cause the disease started in Mexico. Our border with Mexico is so secure that there is no way an infected person could make it in. It is not like any of Mexico's vast population infected with TB ever makes it through. Yup, I get to just sit back and watch the flu rage through other countries that did not insulate themselves against illegal immigration.
It is a good thing that our Congress appropriated money to build a fence. That way we can keep out all of the people that we don't want to enter our nation...

Saturday, April 25, 2009


Buakaw Por Pramuk is the greatest stand up fighter the world has ever seen. He is so awesome that the greatest kickboxing promotion in the world K-1 Max (not K1, that is a freak show) changes its rules every year to try and give someone else a chance to win it. Buakaw was killing people in the clinch, so they removed the plumb clinch and only allowed one knee per clinch. Buakaw was so good with his elbows that they simply baned them.

In his latest fight Buakaw takes on the relatively unknown Andre Dida. Dida manages to do the seemingly impossible and land a wicked left hook that knocks Buakaw down... The rest is Buakaw handing out an ass kicking that you would not want on your worst enemy... let's watch!!

Intros and first round.

The ass raping begins...

Last round

Thursday, April 23, 2009

9-11 Terrorists Came In Through Canada??

Wait wat??? Apparently the head of Homeland Security wants to change history and deny that the 9-11 terrorists came in through U.S. ports with U.S. student visas. I like to blame Canada as much as the next guy, but we just can't blame them for this one.

So, instead of focusing on the border that is guarded by easily corruptible and uncaring people, Janet Napolitano wants to go after Canada. Awesome.


Dumb as a box of hammers

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

You Just Finished the Boston Marathon...

Just to realize that three guys wearing 70 lb packs, combat boots, and full fatigues finished before you...

How did that make you feel black shorts guy?

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

UFC 97 Recap

Eliot Marshall def Vinny Magalhaes Decision
My Pick: Vinny by armbar first round
Vinny needs to go back to MMA school...

T.J. Grant def Ryo Chonan Decision (Split)
My Pick: Chonan by decision
Time to kiss Chonan goodbye.

Mark Bocek def David Bielkheden Submission (Rear-Naked Choke) 4:57 rnd 1
My Pick: Bocek by decision
Mark is my new hero.

Ed Herman def David Loiseau Decision
My Pick: Loiseau by KO second round
Time to kick Loiseau to the curb.

Nate Quarry def Jason MacDonald TKO (Elbows) 2:27 rnd 1
My Pick: Nate by KO from strikes on the ground mid third round
Nate takes care of MacDonald before I thought he would. Nate really seems to be on the right track after Rich Franklin nearly ended his career.

Denis Kang def Xavier Foupa-Pokam Decision
My Pick: Kang by KO first round
Denis really? You can't take out even a no name first comer to the UFC? You must have been on the really good vitamins in PRIDE.

Luis Arthur Cane def Steve Cantwell Decision
My Pick: Cane by KO second round.
Cane takes care of business.

Cheick Kongo def Antoni Hardonk TKO (Punches) 2:29 rnd 2
My Pick: Hardonk by KO late second/early third
I have to admit, I am impressed with Kongo. He wins by G&P, something I did not expect, and neither did Hardonk. One way to eliminate the reach advantage, is to take your man down. That is what Cheick did.

Krzysztof Soszynski def Brian Stann Submission (Kimura) 3:53 rnd 1
My Pick: Krzysztof by triangle first round
No surprise.

Mauricio Rua def Chuck Liddell TKO (Punches) 4:28 rnd 1
My Pick: Chuck by KO first round.
I hate to see him go after he had so many great fights, but the world has figured out Chuck. Liddell can no longer avoid the left hook. All his opponents do is duck the big right and counter with the left. Lights out Chuck. Time to hang up the gloves.

Sam Stout def Matt Wiman Decision
My Pick: Matt by decision
Wow... Time for Matt to re-evaluate his game.

Anderson Silva def Thales Leites Decision
My Pick: My gut tells me Anderson by KO in the second.
I don't know what all of the fuss is about. Silva did not want to engage on the ground and Leites did not want to engage on the feet. In the current rule set, where the stand up fighter has the advantage, the grounded fight will always loose. Leites' game plan was to lure Anderson on to the mat. Anderson did not play that game.

I go 6 for 12, and not nearly as good as I thought I would be... Some of those fights I thought were locks, especially Kongo/Hardonk. Sorry to all of the gamblers out there who use me as their reference.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Friday, April 17, 2009

UFC 97

The UFC comes in with a killer card and... I will be in OKC looking at houses. Fun.

Sam Stout vs. Matt Wiman (Lightweight)
Stout lost his last fight by decision to Terry Etim.
Handsome Matt Wiman lost his last fight to Jim Miller by decision.
Look for Wiman to take Stout down almost immediately. From there Wiman's better wrestling and BJJ should get him the win. Matt by decision.

Ryo Chonan vs. T.J. Grant (Welterweight)
Chonan beat Brad Blackburn by decision his last time out.
Grant is a new comer to the UFC. He is a submission factory pumping out all kinds of awesomeness going 13-2 with 12 of his wins by submission. I like to see that!
Despite his resume, I don't think that Grant is going to beat Chonan, the last guy to beat Anderson Silva, on the ground. This should be a technical ground battle with lots of sweeps and position changes. In the end I think Chonan will come out on top. Chonan by decision.

Mark Bocek vs. David Bielkheden (Lightweight)
ATT fighter Bocek won his last fight over Alvin Robinson by decision.
Bielkheden (how do you pronounce that? I don't like to perpetuate the stereotype of the American mush mouth with unfamiliar names, but holly crap) a BTT fighter, beat Jess Liaudin by decision his last time in the cage.
Again we have two BJJ guys going at it. The weird thing is that these guys could have the exact same style. Both guys use position to pound out their opponents, and both guys seem to fold under more aggressive opponents. Tough call... Bielkheden does have the cooler name, but I think that Bocek has been training with the better team. Bocek by decision.

David Loiseau vs. Ed Herman (Middleweight)
The Crow is back in the UFC!! The man with the elbows won his last fight in an other organization, against UFC vet Solomon Hutcherson by KO.
Ed Herman... This guy is still around? Ed lost his last fight by Split Decision to Alan Belcher.
Herman has floundered in the UFC lately and Loiseau will feel like he has come home... well I guess he is home, this UFC is in Canada. Anywhoo, this shouldn't be much of a contest. Loiseau by KO second round.

Jason MacDonald vs. Nate Quarry (Middleweight)
After being embarrassed by Wilson Gouveia in his last fight, Jason MacDonald tries to regain some respect.
Nate Quarry was choked out by Demian Maia his last time out, BUT since Damian Mia is a damn superhero, we really can't blame Nate for loosing.
This should be a very entertaining fight. MacDonald will try to get the fight to the ground. He has to. That is the only place where he can win. All Nate has to do is avoid the takedown. I think that he is up to the task. Nate's pinpoint accurate standup style will frustrate, dominate, then destroy Jason as the fight progresses. Nate by KO from strikes on the ground mid third round.

Denis Kang vs. Xavier Foupa-Pokam (Middleweight)
Kang... so much potential, so disappointing. Kang came in to the UFC, gassed out, then was easily choked out by Alan Belcher. Kang competed in a Pride tournament, and fought his last fight one armed, and didn't gas. He couldn't last two rounds in the UFC???
Xavier Foupa-Pokam easily wins the coolest name in the universe prize. This will be Foupa-Pokam's first fight in the UFC after he tore through competition in Europe. He won his last fight by flying knee to the body over Kyacey Uscola (I don't know who that guy is either...)
Ok, let's face facts. Kang trains with the better team, has more experience, fought in bigger shows, and has faced better opposition than Foupa-Pokam. After his last performance, Kang should be looking to redeem himself. It looks like the UFC wants him to redeem himself, because they gave him a n00b out of Europe. Most likely Foupa-Pokam will come flying out of his corner and attempt to land a flying strike of some kind. Kang should be able to counter and exploit. Kang by KO first round.

Eliot Marshall vs. Vinny Magalhaes (Light Heavyweight)
Marshall won his debut in the UFC over Jules Bruchez by RNC.
Magalhaes called Nog's BJJ old then got his ass handed to him by Ryan Bader. Oh yeah, he supposedly is one of the best BJJ fighters in the universe. I remain skeptical.
Vinny should be the bigger fighter in this contest, he normally fights at 220lbs. That advantage should allow him to control the fight on the ground, it will go to the ground, and get the win. Vinny by armbar first round. If it is a flying armbar I will dance naked around my house.

Steve Cantwell vs. Luis Arthur Cane (Light Heavyweight)
Catwell beat Razak Al-Hassan by armbar last time out.
Cane knocked Sokoudjou in to last week in his last fight.
Bad bad bad match up for Catwell. On the feet Cane has lots of power and good placement. On the ground Cane is BJJ black belt. I don't see where Cantwell has any advantage. I hope we get to see the open palmed slap again... Cane by KO second round.

Cheick Kongo vs. Antoni Hardonk (Heavyweight)
Kongo beat Mustapha al Turk by KO last fight.
Hardonk beat Mike Wessel by KO last fight.
It is easy to see why the UFC made this match up. Both guys throw leather. If you want to see KOs, this is the fight you make. Heavy kicks. Heavy hands. Everything heavy. I think that Hardonk actually has the advantage though. He is slightly heavier and has a big reach advantage. That reach edge will be the edge in this fight, if Hardonk doesn’t get stupid and try to take Kongo down. Hardonk by KO late second/early third.

Krzysztof Soszynski vs. Brian Stann
Krzysztof won his last fight by Kimura over Shane Primm.
Former WEC Lightweight Champion Stann lost by KO to Steve Cantwell.
This is a bad match up for Stann. Stann is still very new to the MMA game and tends to rush his opponents in an attempt to overwhelm them. This worked well against most opposition in the WEC, but really won't do well for him in the UFC. Krzysztof is a better version of Shane Primm, the guy who took Stann's belt in the WEC. Krzysztof has great striking, excellent submissions and solid game planning. Stann just wades in and tries to bash your head in. If he is smart Krzysztof will take Stann down and finish him on the ground. Krzysztof by triangle first round.

Chuck Liddell vs. Mauricio Rua (Light Heavyweight)
Chuck was nearly decapitated by Rashad Evans in his last fight.
Rua kind of beat an old man that the UFC found looking for change outside of the Hard Rock Las Vegas in his last fight.
If Rua looks like he did in Pride, this fight won't go more than 3 minutes. If Rua comes out and looks like he did in his last two UFC fights, this fight won't go more than three minutes. I am guessing that Chuck will be in good shape and ready to go. Chuck by KO first round.

Anderson Silva vs. Thales Leites (Middleweight Championship Fight)
Silva "won" against Patrick Cote in his last fight. Cote hurt his knee, giving Silva the win.
Thales Leites choked out Drew McFedries his last time in the cage.
This is an interesting fight. If it goes to the ground I think that Leites has the advantage there. On the feet, obviously Silva has the advantage.
Against Travis Luter, Anderson really did not try to stuff any takedown attempt and was content to fight off of his back. I don't think that is a good game plan against Leites. As dominate he has been, I think that this is a fight that Silva could loose, but only if Leites plays the right game. If he comes out and tries to aggressively manhandle Silva, Anderson will knock him out. If Leites stays to the outside and throws the double leg after a right hand feint he could get Anderson to the ground and win the fight there. Good fight, tough call... My gut tells me Anderson by KO in the second.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Quite Possibly The Hottest Thing I Have Ever Seen


Tea Parties

It is great that you guys are out protesting, but where were you in November? Where were you in February 2008? WTF? Do you think for a moment that that cabal in Washington will listen to you? You are either WAY too late, or WAY too early.

You think that throwing tea in April of 2009 will help even a little bit? You think you have a voice? 54% of people think Capitalism is better than Socialism, and you morons are throwing tea.

You all bitch about how the mainstream media will not cover your protests. The next election is in November of 2010. There is no point to covering what is essentially one group of people flogging themselves. I like masturbating as much as the next guy, but I don't go running down the streets afterward crying for attention afterwards.

What was significant about the Boston Tea Party was that the ones who perpetrated it could have been hung for what they did. They knew that the crown would want their blood, and would do damn near anything they wanted to get it. Those Bostonians did it anyway. Ball the size of boulders. Who is threatening you as you throw your Lipton Tea on the capital steps?

Elections have consequences. You KNEW President Obama was going to do this when he was Senator Obama. Save your angst for November 2010. It was only after the conservative movement took the House and Senate that Bill Clinton was put in to check. was only after the conservative movement took the House and Senate that a budget surplus was realized. was only after the conservative movement took the House and Senate that the era of big government was announced dead.

So, throw your tea today. See what good it does you. Don't compare yourself to the patriots of 1773. You are a pussy. They were not.

Ass Kickers


Tuesday, April 14, 2009

You Are God Damn Right I Could Bring It In

Private Pilot Passenger Lands Plane After Pilot Dies

Hell to the yeah. Is there a pilot on board? Yes there is. You are god damn right I could land that thing!!!!

I could land a washing machine if it had wings. Believe it!!!

Hawker Bechcraft King Air

Monday, April 13, 2009

Happy Tax Freedom Day 2009!

Whew! That was a rough one, but we made it. Today is the first day that you start working for yourself and not for the government. Three and one half months you dedicate to Uncle Sam. Awesome.

Just wait until Congress and President Obama let the Bush tax cuts expire in 2010. The you should really see the tax freedom day increase! I can't wait!!

Find out when Tax Freedom came to your state

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

This Is What Awesome Looks Like

Back From Hawaii

I am back from my vacation! I know you were all waiting patiently for me to post, so here I am!

Before I left I was a bit nervous for my friend, Ryan Jensen, because he was going to be fighting while I was away. Ryan has lost three straight fights in the UFC, and I thought that it was a miracle that he would get a fourth shot. Not only that, he was fighting a guy who was not a Brazilian BJJ world champion submission master. He was to fight Steve Steinbeiss, a guy who Ryan had a realistic chance to beat.

I get back, and what do I find out... Jensen had Adderall in his system. I am absolutely crushed. What the hell Ryan?? You have one more fight in the UFC against a guy who does not tear of Gracie arms for fun, and you are doping?????? For what? Even if you lost you could hold your head up and say that you where there giving 100%, but to loose because you are cheating for one, and using a baned substance to boot???? WTF?

I have to admit that my feelings are more for myself than they are for Ryan. Mostly what I have for Ryan is disgust. I associated myself with this guy. His shame reflects on me, and it makes me sick. Good job Ryan. Way to make us all look like drug using cheaters.